5 Moments You Know That You Suck At Gift Giving

5 Moments You Know That You Suck At Gift Giving

Image by Michael Schwarzenberger from Pixabay 
 
 
Gift giving is like singing opera: It’s hard. Some people make it look easy. A lot of people can get better at it through practice, but some people will suck at it no matter how hard they try. In fact, the harder some of us try, the more hilarious we look, and not in a good way. If you suck at giving presents, there are five moments that you know all too well. You know them because you’re forced to repeat them roughly once every three months. 

 

1. The Gift Giving Realization Of Dread 

First of all, there’s that moment when you realize that you have to get a gift. Again. There are some people who can “remember dates” because they “write them down” in their “planners.” These people can grasp the fact that gift giving occasions are things that happen every once in a while, and they know that planning ahead is best. These people probably also know how to fold a fitted sheet. 

 

And then there’s you. You can understand gift shopping and fitted sheets on a logical level, but otherwise your brain is still treating those things like final exams in college. Somehow it surprises you that Uncle Simon is having a birthday because you just bought a present for your best friend’s baby shower, even though those two things are not related to each other at all. That’s why it doesn’t really hit you until the last minute that you’re going to have to buy a gift, and then just like you did on your final exams, you’re going to scramble for answers. So you stuff your fitted sheet into the bottom of a drawer (those things just aren’t meant to be folded), and you start racking your brain. 

 

2. The Wish List Demand 

Look, you’re no mind reader, unlike those sheet-folding weirdos. That’s why you’d rather just have people tell you what they want as a gift. And it would make so much sense if people would just do it your way. They know that you’re going to get a gift, s
o why not just say what they want and skip the part where they visit the return counter as soon as Mother’s Day is over? 

 

Everyone who sucks at gift giving has begged someone for their wish list. “Seriously! Just tell me what you want!” Ah, wouldn’t that make life so much easier? But no, nobody is that straightforward. Why just say what they want when they can drop hints like a sphinx’s messenger in a Greek tragedy? Communicate like a human? Nope. You’ll get your answers if you interpret these ancient markings under the light of the first full moon. Or they’ll say that they “don’t want anything,” which we all know is a lie. 

 

3. The Drug Store Run 

You’ve realized that you have to buy something. You’ve also resigned yourself to the fact that you’re not getting any answers. Now it’s getting down to the wire, so what do you do? You go to the drugstore. Look, it’s not like you’re proud of it, but you’re hardly the only one to do it. That’s why there are so many gift cards at the front of drug stores: for people like you with poor time management skills and wrinkled fitted sheets. Every once in a while, a miracle occurs and you actually find something decent. Otherwise, it’s a crap shoot. Your niece is getting some toothpaste and a hardware store gift card for her christening. 

 

4. The Bad Acting 

This moment is exactly why gifts should never be opened in person. Maybe you know a lot of actual actors, in which case this is one gift giving moment that you don’t experience. However, most people who suck at buying gifts have seen some bad acting. “Ooooh, a candle! Thank you! I love it!” You do not, you liar, and this is exactly why your community theatre production of Our Town only sold fourteen tickets
 
Heaven help you next year when they do RENT
(
Photo by Kyle Head on Unsplash)
 

 

Oh, they’ll always say that they love your gift. Again, they can’t let you know what they’re actually thinking. They’ll put on their best surprised face, but you’ll know. You’ll know, and you’ll consider adding “acting lessons” to next year’s potential gifts. The sad thing is that this wouldn’t be a bad idea if you’d actually remember it. You won’t, though. Your brain is too busy trying to invent self-folding fitted sheets. 

 

5. The Generic Thank You Card 

Unfortunately, the bad acting doesn’t stop in person. It also extends to the thank you card. Just when you’ve started to forget your humiliation, a card arrives in the mail that reminds you of that candle. There will be a few words about how nice it smelled. There will be nothing about the fact that the candle is now in a donation bin on its way to a thrift store. It doesn’t matter. You’ll still know. 

 

Make Gift Giving Easier 

Now, if you’ve gotten this far on a website called “Try My Nuts,” you know exactly where this is going. You may suck at gift giving, but we’re here to make it easier. This time, skip the drug store run and go straight to Try My Nuts. Never thought about giving nuts as a gift before? You should, and here’s why: 

 

  • Everyone loves snacks. There’s no list-making or second-guessing when it comes to snacks. You already know that the recipient will love them, because who wouldn’t? They’re snacks
  • Nuts work for any occasion. Today they’re just nuts. Put a red bow on them and they’re festive nuts. 
  • Nuts give you plenty of opportunity to make puns. Trust us, we’ve built an entire business around it. 
  • You can customize your nuts. You’ve got lots of gift basket options. Add salty nuts, sweet nuts, a T shirt, and some jerky. There. Now your present will stand out. 

Gift giving doesn’t have to be frustrating. Visit Try My Nuts to see the simple but delicious options you can give to your friends and family. We promise you won’t find any candles.

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