If you’re reading this, then there’s a really good chance that you are a human. If so, congratulations on being at the top of the food chain. When was the last time that you really took some time to enjoy your place at the top? Was it when you went to the bathroom inside? Bought food from a grocery store instead of hunting it in the wild? We have another idea: why not celebrate your position at the top of the food chain by enjoying some exotic beef jerky?
You’re not too chicken for exotic beef jerky, are you? Anyone can buy regular beef jerky at a gas station on the way to Florida, but you won’t settle for less anymore. You’re going to be the one in your friend group who can say that you know what an ostrich tastes like.
Buffalo Bob’s exotic animal jerky is a prime meat-eating experience for those who’ve had enough of non-exotic cows. At Try My Nuts, you can choose from several exotic animals. We’ve listed them all below, and just for fun, we’ve listed them in order of least to most likely to beat us in a fight.
Venison Beef Jerky
Venison is meat from a deer. It’s the kind of meat that you’d eat while cosplaying as Ron Swanson for a weeklong cabin stay. The difference is that you don’t have to hunt the deer yourself. It’s already been made into venison beef jerky. The taste is similar to beef, so with venison beef jerky, you basically get double the beef. Cow beef and deer beef. They’re better together.
Likelihood of beating us in a fight: 2/10 – bad at avoiding cars
Ostrich Beef Jerky
As far as exotic animal jerky goes, you’d think that ostrich tastes like chicken, but you’d be wrong. (Weirdly, alligator tastes more like chicken than ostrich does.) No, ostrich is actually a type of red meat, and it has a lot of uses. The best of those uses is for you to be able to tell people at parties that you’ve eaten ostrich meat. That’s a good ice-breaker, right? We’re not really sure anymore. We’ve sort of forgotten what socializing is like. Anyway, ostriches make delicious meat, and you should definitely try it at least once in your life.
Likelihood of beating us in a fight: 5/10 – is very large and has sharp claws
Camel Beef Jerky
Next on the list of exotic beef jerky is the camel. Have you ever had a camel burger? It turns out that’s a real thing, and some people think it’s better than beef. Apparently, camel meat has more protein and less fat than a lot of other types of meat, so if you like your jerky on the healthy side, reach for the camel jerky.
Likelihood of beating us in a fight: 6/10 – can run surprisingly fast
Kangaroo Beef Jerky
Kangaroo meat is gamey yet tender, and it has a stronger flavor than a lot of other meats. This is the kind of meat that you eat when you really want to impress someone with your meat-eating skills. “Oh, what’s that? Your steak comes from California-raised cows? Well, my last snack came straight from the Hundred Acre Wood. Put that in your pouch and hop away with it.”
Likelihood of beating us in a fight: 6/10 – seems scrappy for its size
Buffalo Beef Jerky
Buffalo Bob’s buffalo beef jerky would either be a great tongue twister or an awesome band name. Either way, this jerky comes in two varieties: original buffalo and chipotle. Buffalo have the unique distinction of looking like a cow that skipped leg day, and their meat is a complete protein with lots of B vitamins.
Likelihood of beating us in a fight: 7/10 – will probably stampede
Alligator Beef Jerky
Ah, the alligator. The strong and powerful creature that stars in a large number of headlines alongside the infamous Florida Man. Alligator meat is distinct because it’s the last one that you’d expect to taste like chicken, yet it’s the only meat on this list that actually tastes like chicken. It turns out that alligator is white meat. Who knew? Buffalo Bob’s alligator beef jerky comes in three flavors: original, barbecue, and Cajun. Frankly, we’d be disappointed if Cajun wasn’t an option here.
Likelihood of beating us in a fight: 8/10 – is a freaking alligator
Wild Boar Beef Jerky
Listen, do not underestimate wild boar. Those guys have large heads, sharp teeth, and can move rocks that weigh more than 100 pounds. They won’t think twice about attacking a human on their way to some food, so in retaliation, we made some of them into jerky. We’re still at the top, baby. Wild boar meat tastes like pork, which is fitting because it is pork.
Likelihood of beating us in a fight: 9/10 – not called “wild” for nothing
Elk Beef Jerky
Elk are majestic, dignified creatures that occasionally engage in antler wrestling. Their meat is delicious while being much lower in fat and cholesterol content than beef. Plus, it’s very high in protein.
Likelihood of beating us in a fight: 10/10 – known to charge at tourists
Exotic Beef Jerky
The best place to get exotic beef jerky is here at Try My Nuts. Not only do we carry all the varieties listed above, but our jerkies are made from premium cuts of meat. Because if you’re going to eat a kangaroo, it had better be a delicious kangaroo. Check out your exotic animal jerky options at Try My Nuts, and never attempt to beat a wild animal in a fight.