How do you get your buns out of bed? Pick one:
The cat is dancing on your face.
You can’t wait to clean the snow off your car so you can get to the office.
You must get to the mirror so you can scare yourself to death.
The thrill of one more Greek yogurt?
If you’re like 30 million other Americans, you rely on magic in a cup. Black magic, that is – but we know it as coffee. Or brown magic if you add cream.
Mmm, that first sip: there’s nothing like it. Most people swear by their favorite brand, but we swear by ours. Try My Nuts has some awesome kick-your-butt-out-of-bed coffee; it’s called Get Up and Go and it’s perfect for when your get-up won’t go. Think of it as a machete slicing through the gunk – or toothpicks holding your eyes open. Either way, Get Up and Go means go, go, go! Our coffee pods will have you percolating in no time, and that’s a good thing because there’s no time when you’re running late.
But wait, there’s more. Let’s say you’re like a gazillion other commuters who answer to the boss, but you hit the snooze button too many times with the covers over your head. What’s a slacker to do? Listen up, you, Wake the F Up! We’re sorry you overslept, but not that sorry. It’s these mornings that you need us. In your cup, out the door, your pedal to the floor, behind your wheel, without the snore.
When it comes to that cuppa joe, we know our Joe, and he’s a real ass-kicker when you need a flicker in your ticker. No nodding off at the desk, in the meeting, on the freeway – no way. Wake Your Ass Up Coffee is the starter engine for your gray matter. It’s one mean do-your-thing machine.
And this concludes our caffeine for the day…or does it? Shame on us. Did we forget the weekend? Unless you’re working, in which case we’re back to the alarm clock boogie, which means get your h
ind end moving already.
Ah, but if weekends are yours, you can sleep until noon or coffee, whichever comes first. When you’re ready, biscuits and a hot brew are waiting for you in the breakfast nook. And if not, why not? Don’t you deserve to treat yourself after a long week at the grind?
We thought so, too; that’s why we created the one and only Bitchin’ Breakfast Blend, guaranteed to cure what ails you. Savor the moment, put your feet up, and let Mom do the cooking. She’ll bring your comfy slippers and hot buttered biscuits from the oven. But what if you’re Mom? Then let the bitchin’ begin. Make the biscuits yourself, honey; it’s time to heal, and nothing does that better than Bitchin’ Breakfast Blend.
That’s what’s in it for you. Now, what’s in it for your friends and family?
There’s so much to say, and Try My Nuts helps you say it. Our coffee is too good to keep to yourself, so why not add your favorite people to your gift list with these fabulous ideas?
Everyone brings cookies to the new neighbors, so why not do something different? Show up on the doorstep with a basket of biscuit ingredients and a package of Bitchin’ Breakfast Blend, throw in some seedless grapes, almonds, cheese chunks, and jam. It’s the perfect way to roll out the welcome mat.
Say thanks with a sampler. Who helped you clean up after the party while everyone else left you with the mess? Who did your dishes when you recovered from your knee replacement? Who made you chicken soup when you had the flu? Who babysat the kids so you and your hubby could take that weekend getaway? That’s a true friend who deserves a surprise, and if they love their coffee, even better – because we know they’ll love ours.
We make it easy to send tokens of gratitude. Let us know what you want, and we’ll make sure they get it.
Say Happy Birthday
There’s no time to bake a cake, but that java-lover on your list already has everything. What do you send? Coffee, of course! Don’t let one more birthday go by without a fun, unexpected gift in the mail from their coffee-drinking buddy. And while you’re at it, throw in one of our Try My Nuts Coffee Mugs. There now. Isn’t that better than the same old thing?
Say Happy Holidays
Sooner or later, we all reach that point where we’ve collected so much stuff that the thought of adding one more shelf-sitter or candle is, well, stale. If you’re making your list, don’t forget to include your coffee drinkers.
Repeat after us: there is no good reason whatsoever to give boring gifts. Who needs one more picture frame, necktie, wallet, or ugly sweater? Why should your hard-earned cash be used to purchase something that’s only going to find its way to the regifting closet?
There’s a reason people love food gifts; they don’t collect dust. Our answer is your answer – coffee: it’s the gift they’ll appreciate.
Order from us, and your shopping will be complete, and all without you setting one foot in the mall. Have it sent directly to th
em, or have us ship it to you. Then, put it in a bucket, a basket, a bowl, or even a Christmas-decorated mailbox. Add a Try My Nuts Commuter Tumbler, some candy canes, a bow, and you’re done.
Nothing could be easier than sending a unique selection from Try My Nuts. Give us a call today, and let us be your shopper. Whatever the occasion, you can always use a little coffee elf.